Friday, May 13, 2011

Friday Reflections

See? I can’t even stick with the same name for my traditions! Actually the name “Friday Five” was kind of stuck in my craw all week (I don’t think I’ve ever said that out loud…and I sort of feel funny typing it but that’s exactly how it was) and I knew I would have to improve the name if I was going to keep this tradition going. Not that this one is so innovative or intriguing, but I think it represents what I'll be posting a little more accurately. So without further ado....

1. I really love being a mom. I've started making baby food for Hazel, which I was afraid would seem like another task on my to-do list, but has ended up feeling like the perfect marriage of two things that I love - food and Hazel. :) The nerdy part of me loves freezing fruit and veggie purees into perfect little cubes and storing them in neatly marked bags. And lining them up. And taking pictures of them. Seriously, I can't get over how much I love cubed food. I can't even explain why.
2. Sometimes I find it really hard to be a mom. I knew it would be a lot of responsibility, but I didn't understand what the weight of that love/responsibility/committment would feel like. Sometimes it feels like exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, and other times I feel like I need to let someone know that I really shouldn't be in charge of all this, and someone more capable, less selfish, and possibly with superhuman attributes should be in charge. I can usually manage the thought of the "tasks" involved with being a mother. It's the idea that I'm responsible (at least partially) to make sure they become the kind of person God meant for them to be. In a broken world, and as an imperfect person, that seems so improbable at times. (But most often see #1 above) :)

3. Baseball season is upon us! Since you probably know that I'm not normally excited for (or even aware of) baseball season, I should explain that this is only relevant because James is on a baseball team this year, and the games have begun! However, the first game was called at the bottom of the first inning when a fuse blew and the field went dark, and the second game got rained out before it even started, so I have yet to sit through a full game. But my one inning of experience tells me I better get smart quick - bug spray, a stash of food/water, and some lawn chairs are going to be our necesseties this summer.

4. Remember when I said I have a great family? I was just looking through my photos and found this picture from my weekend in Muskegon. David and James...I'm just counting the days till James asks if he can have a motorcycle.

5. Not to end on a down note, but several times this week I've found myself overcome by the brokenness of this world. There is nothing that remains untouched by it, and when I really allow myself to think about how deeply it affects both the people I love, and those who are most vulnerable, it can seem so hopeless. But I cling to the fact that in the end God will redeem His beloved creation and make each and every part whole and new again. And until then, His grace is the only thing that binds our broken hearts and lives together.

Since it's Friday and it only seems right to end on a smile....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Does Hazel have a mohawk??
I was talking to Amanda my first week on the job and what I was telling her was similar to your feelings about being a mom. I said, I love this and feel like it's what I am called to do. But I feel the responsibility of it and I feel inadequate in some ways. She told me is good that we feel that way. When we begin to think that we have it all together is when we are really in trouble. Feeling inadequate forces us to rely on God. So even though I'm not a mom, I can kind of relate to how your feeling