Friday Reflections

I think this week's reflections may read more like confessions...that's just the mood I'm in or the week I've had - not sure which.

1. I am a failed couponer. To be honest I didn't go all in, but I think that ends up being like a part time job, and right now my full time job seems like a little much. Anyway, back to my coupon failure. I did successfully gather and use many coupons, and maybe I even got some good deals. But in the end I spent more money the weeks when I used coupons then on the weeks when I didn't. I'm sure this means I didn't make a good list or didn't follow the circulars or go at the right time or go to enough stores, but until that makes itself more apparent to me, I'm just grocery shopping the old way. 

2. Sometimes I am really good at just doing things without letting the details overwhelm me. And sometimes, I'm just really good at making lists. This has been a list week.

3. I like to think that I can make a lot of things. I often see something and think "I could just make that." But the truth is, I should probably stop thinking that. Because then I put it on a virtual list in my mind of things that I will do when I have extra time, and that list is getting pretty long these days.

4. I was right about being a sick mom. It's pretty much the same. But I did stay home from work one day and slept until 11:38 am! And even then, it was only Ozzie's barking that woke me. 

5. I'm so thankful for an extra day at home this weekend. I am trying not to overestimate how many things I can do with this extra day and just think of it as time to enjoy and spend with my family. 

Fun fact

My boss thinks lozenges are called "lozengers." I didn't correct her the first time I heard it and now it's too late.

Friday is long gone...but how about Monday Musings?

I've already missed a Friday, but I've decided to just make up for it today and keep going.

1. It's incredible (and sometimes complicated) to think about how we are created for relationships, and what that is supposed to look like and how it most reflects God and His love. Even though there are no perfect relationships, I'm so thankful for the ones I have - sometimes they seem pretty close! :)

2. Really (REALLY) enjoyed my weekend in Nashville with Casi. Talented artists, great food with steaming hot coffee, long walks amongst green trees and rolling hills, cookie dough egg rolls, delicious crepes, guilt-free frozen yogurt (unless you pile the toppings on like I did), and lots of catching up. How could I not enjoy a weekend like that? (Did I mention I got to sleep in?)

3. Hazel is sick for the first time, and her little cough, runny nose and pink cheeks are so pitiful. She just let me hold her this morning and laid her head down on my shoulder, which hasn't happened since she was about half of her current size. I love snuggly Hazel, but this time it just made me sad.

4. I can tell I'm about 12-24 hours out from having a bad cold/flu. This will be my first time being really sick as a mom...I've been dreading it. I just have the feeling that being a mom and being a sick mom look almost exactly the same.

5. God is providing an extra meausre of grace in our lives these days. Things with James are very up and down, and it seems like Andy and I take turns feeling discouraged. We are just about to start a study for foster and adoptive parents, and I am hoping it will help us better understand and interpret some of the issues we are coming up against. Honestly, there are times I'm tempted to feel like giving up or quitting, but each time I'm reminded that this is not a project or a hobby. This is a person and a life that God wants to redeem and heal. That seems miles away right now, but I have to trust that God will figure out a way.

Friday Reflections

See? I can’t even stick with the same name for my traditions! Actually the name “Friday Five” was kind of stuck in my craw all week (I don’t think I’ve ever said that out loud…and I sort of feel funny typing it but that’s exactly how it was) and I knew I would have to improve the name if I was going to keep this tradition going. Not that this one is so innovative or intriguing, but I think it represents what I'll be posting a little more accurately. So without further ado....

1. I really love being a mom. I've started making baby food for Hazel, which I was afraid would seem like another task on my to-do list, but has ended up feeling like the perfect marriage of two things that I love - food and Hazel. :) The nerdy part of me loves freezing fruit and veggie purees into perfect little cubes and storing them in neatly marked bags. And lining them up. And taking pictures of them. Seriously, I can't get over how much I love cubed food. I can't even explain why.

2. Sometimes I find it really hard to be a mom. I knew it would be a lot of responsibility, but I didn't understand what the weight of that love/responsibility/committment would feel like. Sometimes it feels like exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, and other times I feel like I need to let someone know that I really shouldn't be in charge of all this, and someone more capable, less selfish, and possibly with superhuman attributes should be in charge. I can usually manage the thought of the "tasks" involved with being a mother. It's the idea that I'm responsible (at least partially) to make sure they become the kind of person God meant for them to be. In a broken world, and as an imperfect person, that seems so improbable at times. (But most often see #1 above) :)

3. Baseball season is upon us! Since you probably know that I'm not normally excited for (or even aware of) baseball season, I should explain that this is only relevant because James is on a baseball team this year, and the games have begun! However, the first game was called at the bottom of the first inning when a fuse blew and the field went dark, and the second game got rained out before it even started, so I have yet to sit through a full game. But my one inning of experience tells me I better get smart quick - bug spray, a stash of food/water, and some lawn chairs are going to be our necesseties this summer.

4. Remember when I said I have a great family? I was just looking through my photos and found this picture from my weekend in Muskegon. David and James...I'm just counting the days till James asks if he can have a motorcycle.


5. Not to end on a down note, but several times this week I've found myself overcome by the brokenness of this world. There is nothing that remains untouched by it, and when I really allow myself to think about how deeply it affects both the people I love, and those who are most vulnerable, it can seem so hopeless. But I cling to the fact that in the end God will redeem His beloved creation and make each and every part whole and new again. And until then, His grace is the only thing that binds our broken hearts and lives together.

Since it's Friday and it only seems right to end on a smile....

Happy Mother's Day to me

Great smile = best mother's day present

Friday Five

I'm really bad about traditions. I like to do things a little different every time, which includes cooking. I pretty much try to never make the same thing twice....or at least to tweak it a little bit to see if I like it even better than before. My husband finds this both amusing and annoying. Amusing that I'm always pondering and dreaming about new foods, and annoying that the thing he thought was so wonderful for dinner will probably never happen again.
It extends to holidays too. I like to get different ornaments for our Christmas tree every year, and I really can't even recall what we "normally" do to begin making any traditions for our family.
But it's a little different when you have kids. All the sudden I find myself wanting to create traditions that are meaningful and intentional, to provide an opportunity for memories to be made and retold over and over. So I'm working on that.
In the meantime, I thought I'd start my own little tradition of naming the top five things that stand out to me about my week every Friday, just to practice doing something more than once. :)

1. Hazel started sleeping MUCH better this past week, allowing me to sleep for longer than an hour and a half at a time. Thank you my cute little monkey!

2. I decided to become a phone person. For some reason I've developed a slight phobia of talking on the phone - I always feel like I need the perfect situation to sit down and talk and have no interruptions...and I realized that will probably never happen again. So I'm overcoming my phobia and using my new bluetooth more often. It's nice to talk to people I love. :)

3. I recently started menu planning, and I love it! I need to work on menus that use common ingredients so I can trim my grocery bill a little bit, but so far I love the challenge of finding foods I think are worth eating that are also kid-friendly and somewhat quick to throw together.

4. I've been reminded so many times this week about how much I try to control my life. I'm not really a perfectionist, but I think I really like to know what to expect and try to plan everything out, and I think God is trying (probably has been for years but I'm just catching on) that I don't always get to know what to expect. I'm not in charge.

5. My family is really cool. I went home last weekend with James and Hazel, and each person made my weekend really special in several different ways. One of the best things was seeing James follow my brothers and dad around all weekend, just about the happiest I'd ever seen him. He is amazed at how many people are now in his family and is constantly asking me how many there would be if we got everyone from Andy's family and my family together. He always makes these wild guesses like 1,000? Or maybe 500? I usually try to talk him down to somewhere under 100, but truthfully I have no idea. Good project now that I think of it.

Happy Friday!